Sunday, January 30

Always too eager for the future,we Pick up bad habits of expectancy


The evolutionary theory of Erasmus Darwin and Jean-Baptiste Lamarck had shaken the moral prospects and the pillar of faith supporting the society. Matthew Arnold, an English poet of great fame, obviously got worried because the existence of God and the whole Christian scheme of things were cast in doubt.

Significant fallout of this loss was chaos and confusion that engulfed the entire region and no one understood how to overcome the Darwinian onslaught; everybody, in his/her own way, tried to “struggle and fight” but without any good results. Feeling the pulse of the nation and brooding over the dilemma of the people who found no way out, Arnold cried:

Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

Philip Larkin, another famous English poet, reprimands people for cherishing future desires at the cost of their present. He says:

Always too eager for the future, we
Pick up bad habits of expectancy.

We Kashmiris are no better than the faithless Victorians who Arnold found struggling and fighting like the “ignorant armies [that] clash by night”, and that Philip Larkin castigates for ignoring their present and working for some unknown future. The Victorian England suffered from disillusionment and Kashmir, too, faces the same predicament! 2010 summer was really unusual in the sense that it changed the discourse in the streets. Stone-pelting and stone-pelters became buzz words and people believed, or were made to believe, that through stone-pelting we could change course of history. Without looking to the outcome, we plunged into fire for a future which nobody is able to comprehend.


Summer unrest has cost us 111 lives. Four months of chaos and mayhem in the streets echoed with the same age-old slogan, Azadi, which made most of the stone-pelters, virtually the Arnoldian “ignorant armies” clashing, of course not only during night, “on a darkling plain”, but more during the day. And, when stone-pelting was responded to by bullets by the security forces, causing heavy loss of life, Kashmiris, by and large, started brooding over the purpose for which stone-pelters got swayed by emotional outbursts (call them seasonal outbursts). The lull that followed the unrest, especially after Obama’s India visit, has surprised many. They ask: Was stone-pelting engineered for Obama only so that he could talk about Kashmir with India, and when he did not, stone-pelting lost its relevance? If it is so, our seasonal-outbursts are leading us only to disasters which we need to mourn in the same way as Arnold is mourning the loss of faith in his poem. I don’t know why the Government became so nervous about a question calling for an assessment of stone-pelters. I have been told that those students who answered the question had no good words for stone-pelters; they did not find any heroism in stone-pelting.

Our seasonal-outburst has deprived us of many youngsters who many believe were not stone-pelters. Whether or not they were stone-pelters, a legitimate question that needs to be answered is, why do these outbursts take place in summer months only when Kashmiris could earn their living by hosting tourists? Who is responsible for devastating the tourist trade here when visitors throng Himachal Pradesh and other hill-stations in India at the same time? Instead of blaming one group or the other in Kashmir, we should blame ourselves for resorting to mindless means to achieve a very difficult goal. We should know, and understand, how unfortunate this nation has been in not having a good leadership that could guide people to some achievable goal. What have we achieved out of stone-pelting? Has Azadi come to us or have UNO Resolutions on Kashmir gained any new momentum? bijli, sadak, pani and employment have once again become more important than the slogans that Kashmir streets reverberated with during the last summer. Today, downtown youth are not coming forward for stone-pelting but are thronging the employment drive initiated by the same police who they accused of killing stone-pelters! Who are we following and what are they leading us to? Does anybody have time to think and respond? Much as I would love to tell them that their methods are disastrous and their speeches are misleading, can I do so?

Voices of concern have started raising and that is very encouraging. I could be a coward but why should our leaders be? If stone-pelting was the panacea for us, we wouldn’t have been in a messy situation today. Therefore, all of us deserve a stone to be pelted at for we are equally responsible for bringing Kashmir to a never-ending chaotic situation! Summer comes, I become an Azadi-lover and autumn and winter months make me think of my age-old problems—power, roads, water and unemployment. History should have taught us a lesson but, unfortunately, we refuse to learn. The Amarnath land row that had brought entire J&K to a disastrous situation ended with loss of life and the piece of land that had caused the row. And, later on, when the assembly elections were announced, people thronged polling booths as if nothing had happened before the elections. Shouldn’t that have been a good signal for our leadership not to resort to an exercise that would yield no results? Instead, a not-so-unusual incident in Machel was allowed to result in an unprecedented stone-pelting situation that killed many youth but yielded no results! What did we gain from Amarnath land agitation and what did we achieve from stone-pelting? Our economy, our education and, above all, our peace of mind got shattered.

I have no knowledge of the forces from without that might have been behind the last summer-unrest but I am sure no stone was imported from across the border; they were indigenous and in the hands of innocent and ignorant Kashmiris who easily get swayed by emotive slogans. We wasted more than two decades in dreaming about plebiscite which ultimately turned into fighting elections. After a lull of more than a decade, we started our struggle with a bang that has now changed into a whimper. The periodic, spontaneous or otherwise, outbursts are no better than providing purgation to some hidden psychological disorders which only psychiatrists can diagnose. As a common Kashmiri, I know that neither the very volatile situation in the 1990s nor the turbulent days of Amarnath land row or the last summer-unrest have provided the much needed solace to disturbed minds that Kashmir is facing today.

Tuesday, November 30

She said: Mohammed, I want you to become a Christian!! قالت البنت " يا محمد انا أريدك أن تكون مسيحي !!

Mohammed boarded the plane... adjusted his seat and fastened his seatbelt, He was an active attractive young man. He wasn't very religious and had drifted away from the Lord Almighty...The Plane took off.. Muhammad started thinking about his trip to the United States of America, He will have the time of his life over there...with all kinds of drinks, pubs, disco's and nightclubs...in addition to finding alot of girls the way he always dreamt about.
        As he plans throughout the trip, he totally forgets the one that gave him the strength and youth can also deprive him of them at any moment He Arrived and rented an apartment and put his luggage and started the tours as planned... He stayed up all night and slept all day... He heard the Adhan (prayer calls) more than once at corners where minority Muslims lived,but he never thought that this voice is calling him.A MUSLIM.                                  
        He Spent allot of money... He got so drunk he lost track of time and was unaware of what was happening around him. Mohammed said: My life has been this way fo a while until one night I entered a nightclub, full of gorgeous girls, I asked for a drink and began drinking "I know that God has forbidden alcoholic drinks" But, my lust and ego in addition to the clemency (mercy) of my Lord made me forget this fact. I saw a charming young lady with dazzling beauty as she came up to me with looks of lust and desire. She got closer , gave me her hand and threw herself at me.True, I have disobeyed God allot, But my feelings at that moment...were totally different. She had arab features and to my surprise, she spoke to me with broken Arabic.
        She Said: Are you an Arab?? I answered: Yes She said: me too... i'm an American citizen... I was born here She asked: What is your name? I said: Mohammed She replied: I do not like this name. I said: Why? She answered: Because I’m.....Christian Suddenly i felt my body repelling her... My heart has felt her animosity to Islam But this does not affect me... from all the desires that filled and covered my heart. I Smiled. and changed the subject I said: Would you like to dance? She Said: Yes. We Danced, The hours passed , I asked her to leave with me... But she refused. I tried more than once... So that she would surrender herself to me, but she refused.
        I left that night and her picture would not leave my head, i would see that gorgeous lady wherever i looked, My heart became too weak, because is was far from the Almighty God The second night passed... then the third... Everyday i get more attached to her and desired her more and more... until a disaster happened: I spoke to her one night and told her: I want you to sleep at my place tonight. She Said: I don't mind. But On one condition;......!
Condition ? what ?...!
         Put this on and she pulled a chain out of her pocket with a cross in it, I started getting a strange feeling, I know I am a sinner, although I don't pray and haven't seen my parents for months, But i am still a Muslim !! BUT, having her is above everything...I rushed and took the chain... And put it on around my neck like a prisoner, smiling!
 She said astonished: Oh... that's beautiful... it's my gift to you, but... you have to wear it whenever you meet me.
        Unbelievable..!nights passed with this gorgeous babe, beautiful times... Satan made her even more and more attractive in my eyes. One night she refused to come with me, I needed her so much... I tried to beg her, i even tried to seduce her with money She said: NO... Honestly, I want you to become a Christian.
Oh my God... O God, Her words shocked me... I said: Impossible
She said: so it's impossible for us to continue with this relationship after tonight.
        Satan started playing with my mind: "Say yes!! Say OK!! that won't hurt you.. Say you will disbelieve in Islam " it won't harm you... this girl will please you” I left it at that, the night passed ... The second day... I found her more attractive and more beautiful, She got closer... Until her face was so close to mine And said: Oh, you are ruthless... Don’t you feel the love? I melted like a candle by her words and almost fell. I said: of-course i do... why do you think i’m suffering? She Said: What prevents you from being a Christian? I will marry you here if you become a Christian!! I broke down, all my determination and beliefs are being tested, I started forgetting everything; I forgot that my name is "Mohammed" the name of the "Messenger of Allah peace be upon him" I forgot my father who used to wake me up when I was in school for Fajr prayer I forgot my mother who prayed for my guidance everytime i enter the house late at night I forgot myself. I have become a slave to the love and passion of this woman.
        I accepted, went with her, shaved my head and thin lined beard , And became a Christian... I Entered the church for the first time, I cried endlessly as i entered through the doors, the tears i cried were "my faith" leaving my body!! O God...After all of this.... How can  i do such a thing? And what will my punishment be? Hell!!
        O God...Where is my fear and love for God?!? am i that shameless? what has happened to my pride of my religion?! Everything is gone after today... Like a mad man I went back to my apartment...rubbing my bald head.. Shouting: What have you done, O Mohammed!?!? have you left the religion of Mohammed??! I started crying like a baby, closed the door of my apartment and drowned in the my tears. Satan came to me and said: "There is no way back, Mohammed...No way to return you are now a non-muslim a "Kafir" (disbeliever)  and you will die as a disbeliever"!!
        I remembered my grandfather when he used to call the adhan for prayers... I remembered my Quran that was always in my room.... ooh! I remembered a friend of mine that used to warn and advise me by saying: O Muhammad... Beware of the bad ending...dying on the wrong path.
        I started to scream and shouted: Noooooo, Oh God...Nooo.. Oh God! PLEASE do not take my soul now! I will return to Islam! I will get back to the Quran! I will get back to you Allah!
        I rushed to the bathroom... threw the cross  and had a shower to purify me from all the filth i was in and got ready for prayer. As i came out... I felt that all my sins has been rinsed and a wight has been removed off my back, tears would not stop falling like raindrops and i said:

 "Ashadu anna la ilaha illa allah wa ashhadu anna muhammad rasoolu allah "

       I certify that there is no god but Allah and I bear witness that Prophet Muhammad is the Messenger of God"

        O God, how sweet are these words, It is truly the key of happiness, Oh Allah I am returning to you, I am returning to my prayers, I am returning to obeying my parents, I am returning to keeping intact the ties of kinship, I am returning to fasting, I am returning all the good deeds you have asked of us muslims, O Allah. I took the first plane to go back to my country, the first thing I heard the moment i arrived at the airport Is the call for prayer "Adhan" Tears fell uncontrollably..."Will Allah forgive me"? I went to my mother, I threw myself on her shoulder and just cried, Oh Mother... I will never disobey my Lord, O mother forgive my disobedience.
        She hugged me tight and said: "My dear boy... Be good to Allah and obey Him... He is merciful...and accepts repentance. Days passed and Mohammed's life is moving from good to better and his soul is filled with happiness, He only suffers whenever he remembers that trip. Everyday his mother would come to his room at night and hear him crying, reading the Quran or seeking forgiveness "istighfar and duaa" .
        One day his mother went to his room to wake him for Fajr (Morning) prayer, Opened the door,she inhaled a beautiful scent that she had never known. She put her hands on the bed trying to feel her son, bur he wasn't in his bed, She looked across the room with her weak sight and saw him in a "sujood"(prostration)  knelt position on the prayer rug.
        She stood staring at him and waiting.... she waited too long She Called: Mohammed.. my son. He did not raise his head.
         His mother Approached him... Reached out and moved him..he fell on his side... She couldn't believe it or bear this situation.Could it be? could her son have died knelling in his prayer?! She couldn't bear watching this spectacular and difficult scene... Heavy tears came out of her eyes She called:: Hey boys girls !! O people of the house ... O People of the house Look at your brother "Mohammed" move him, shake him!!! O  Mother!!! said his younger brother: My brother Mohammed has died... He died kneeling! She knew that the scent she had smelt of a pure soul brought by the angels of mercy that took his pure spirit to his lord and master whom was proud to have this clean soul returned to its creator... And Allah gave him a good ending. He loved Allah and Allah loved him.

 Congratulations, O Mohammed, this is love.. Congratulations for this ending... What do you think brothers and sisters? Let's all pledge: To only love and do what pleases Allah and to hate what the almighty hates.

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